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Dia de los Dangerous! (transcript)
This is the transcript for Dia de los Dangerous!, ''the first episode of Season 1 and the overall first episode of The Venture Bros. Prologue '''Tijuana, Mexico' Opens in a dark room. Brock Samson is playing strip poker with a Mexican gangster. They are both smoking. He is surrounded by several luchadores. The gangster is speaking in Spanish. Gangster: You should never have come back here, Mr. Samson. Brock Samson: Uh-huh. Gangster: Did you think I’d forgotten what you did to me? Brock Samson: Maybe. Gangster: WELL I DIDN’T! And tonight I take my revenge on the famous gringo, Brock Samson. I call. Brock shows his cards. Brock Samson: Full house. The gangster looks worried but quickly smiles. He shows his cards: 8 of spades, 2 of diamonds, Jack of hearts, 3 of diamonds, and 5 of clubs. Gangster: Royal Flush. I win again! We play by Tijuana Rules, no? And as you know, in Tijuana I make the rules. Ha ha ha! The game is mine, Mr. Samson. Your underwear. Brock stands up and pulls his underwear down. Gangster: You’re not so tough without your big knife, are you, Mr. Samson? HA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! One of the luchadores starts clapping in appreciation for Brock’s .. umm .. package. The gangster looks at him, while Brock spits his cigarette in the his eye. The luchadores near Brock are beaten back, while the gangster raises his knife, and a larger fight ensues. Eventually the gangster surrenders and then continues speaking, but in English. Gangster: Okay okay, enough! I’ll give you the part. The gangster retrieves the part from a box on a shelf. Gangster: That was for a ‘69 Charger, no? Brock puts his pants back on while the gangster hands the part over to Brock. Gangster: There. No charges, okay? Please, just go! Brock starts to walk away when the formerly clapping luchador speaks up. Luchador: (Spanish) Wait! (English) Take me with you? Brock lights a cigarette and takes a long hit. Brock Samson: Sorry, man. Here, kid. Brock throws him his shirt. The wrestler sniffs it and holds it close to him. OPENING CREDITS Act 1 Dr. Venture is teaching at the University of Mexico … the Community University of Mexico at Tijuana School for Continuing Education. Dr. Venture: So you see by applying the basic principles of the scientific method to the matter, we learned very quickly that the myth of the Chupacabra is just that -- utter crap. Now if you apply the same principles to Catholicism, an interesting thing occurs… A student raises his hand. Dr. Venture: Yes? Student: (Speaking Spanish) Dr. Venture: Uh, mmm… From offscreen the university administrator responds in Spanish. Administrator: "English for Immigrants" es en el proximo cuarto, numero dos cero seis. Most of the students get up and walk out to room 206, leaving only three students. Dr. Venture: So, anyone else have a question? He looks around, not getting a response. Dr. Venture: Okay, then. Well, I hope my lecture has been as enlightening for all of you as it has for me. Really, you’ve all been great. Administrator: Interesting lecture as always, Dr. Venture. I’m only sorry there wasn’t a better turnout. It’s difficult to hold the students’ attention during Dia de los Muertos. Dr. Venture: Oh right. The crazy dead people Christmas you people celebrate. What, is that supposed to be today? Administrator: Sí. Dr. Venture: Oh, great. Fantastic of you to tell me that before I came all the way down here. So, um, how do we do this? Do you guys mail me a check, or do I pick it up at the bursar’s office or what? Outside the building, Brock Samson is waiting while Dr. Venture walks out. Brock Samson: Hey, Doc. How’d your speech, uh, thing go? Dr. Venture: All right, I suppose. One or two of the students really seemed to grasp -- you don’t really care, do you? Brock Samson: Nah. A Mexican prostitute walks up. Prostitute: Hola, Señor Samson. Brock Samson: See you back at the X-1 in a couple of hours. Brock and the prostitute walk away, while Hank and Dean walk up wearing sombreros with their names on them, surprising Dr. Venture. Hank and Dean: Hey, Pop! Dr. Venture: Boys. Hank: This place is tits! Divvy this: We got these boss Mexican hats-- Dean: --sombreros-- Hank: --and these super cool sugar skulls with our names on them. T''he boys show their father the skulls as the Administrator shows up behind them.'' Administrator: Ah, there you are. Your check, Dr. Venture. Muchas gracias. He hands the check over to Dr. Venture. Dr. Venture: Super good. Very generous of y--oh, pesos. Great. These zeroes are all meaningless. (A monarch butterfly lands on Dr. Venture’s shoulder.) Dammit! You people have giant bugs around here. Administrator: Ah, that is the monarch butterfly. They migrate here to Mexico this time of year. The Aztecs believed they were the spirits of the dead returning home. Dean: Wow, but you’re full of helpful information, fella! Hank reaches for the butterfly. Hank: And how! (recoils) Say, it’s not poisonous, is it? Administrator: I… you’re kidding, right? No, hijo, he’s not poisonous. Camera zooms in on the butterfly, and zooms out from a screen on the Monarch’s throne in his cocoon. He’s wearing headphones with a microphone. Dr. Girlfriend is at a nearby station, and they are surrounded by their henchmen. The Monarch: Ha! That’s where you’re wrong, Mr. College. Dr. Girlfriend: Honey, what are you going on about? The Monarch: Shh, don’t call me that in front of the henchmen. Keep it professional. (Dr. Girlfriend rolls her eyes.) It’s my old nemesis: Dr. Venture. He’s obviously followed us down here. Someone must have leaked our whereabouts to him. But who? (turns and points to his henchmen in formation) All right, which one of you sold the Monarch out? (pause) Okay, okay, I’m going to turn around and close my eyes, and I want the guilty party to step forward. No judgments; you won’t be punished. Just want to know who did it, okay? A henchman coughs. The Monarch swiftly turns around and darts him. The Monarch: Traitor! Dirty bastard traitor! I knew it was you, number … Dr. Girlfriend: Thirty-seven. The Monarch: Number Thirty-seven! Strike him from the roster, Dr. Girlfriend! Speedy! Speedy: Yes, Monarch. The Monarch: You’re being promoted. And I want you and a phalanx of no less than three and no more than five henchmen to go and observe Dr. Venture. Find out what he’s doing here and whether or not he knows about my… sinister plan. Speedy: Does this mean I’m getting my wings? The Monarch: No. Speedy: Gah, I’m never gonna get those wings. The Monarch: Someday, Speedy, someday. Here, how about I let you drive the Monarch Mobile? The Monarch tosses Speedy a set of keys. Some interference is heard through the Monarch’s headphones. Cut back to Dr. Venture’s hand after having swatted the butterfly on his shoulder. It sparks. Dr. Venture: Horrible disease-carrying things. Dean: But that might’ve been someone’s spirit, Pop. Dr. Venture: All the more reason to get it the hell off me. Look, don’t you kids have someplace to be or something? (Boys shake their heads.) Well, here! Go, I don’t know, buy fireworks or something. (He pulls some money out of his wallet.) Just go somewhere that’s not next to your father. I have urgent business to attend to with a colleague of mine, Dr. Guevara, the top man in his field. Inside Dr. Ernesto Guevara’s office. Dr. Venture is sitting down on a hospital bed while Dr. Guevara is standing. Dr. Guevara: I am sorry, Señor Venture. Dr. Venture: Doctor. Dr. Guevara: Sí? Dr. Venture: No, Doctor Venture. What’s Mexican for doctor? Dr. Guevara: "Doctor." As I was saying, I simply cannot write you these prescriptions. Dr. Venture: What?! Why not? Dr. Guevara: The quantities you’ve specified are practically criminal. You have drugs on this list with completely opposite applications, you have none of the ailments they treat-- Dr. Venture: But I have tripolar disorder. Dr. Guevara: No. Dr. Venture: Oh, come on! Look at this place! (stands) Dr. Guevara: I realize I am a Tijuana doctor and all, but even we have scruples. I could lose my license to practice… Mexican medicine. Dr. Venture: Okay, I see how it is. And what would you prescribe for Alexander Hamilton? (holds up a $10 bill) Dr. Guevara: Not much. Dr. Venture: Okay okay. How about if, say, President Benjamin Franklin were to ask you? (holds up a $100 bill) Dr. Guevara scratches his chin, pondering the proposal. Cut scene to a market where the boys are walking with H.E.L.P.eR. in tow. Dean: Hey, I’ve been thinking. Maybe instead of being super selfish with the money Dad gave us, we should try to do something good with it. Hank: Aw, crud. Like what, brown-noser? Dean: Well, take a look at old H.E.L.P.eR., there. He’s pretty beat up, don’t you think? Hank: Well, sure. He looks like a dried-out turd on a bad stretch of road. Why? Dean: Hasn’t H.E.L.P.eR. always been there for us? Hasn’t he always been, well, super helpful? H.E.L.P.eR. nods. Hank: Sure, he’s great. Dean: Well, do you see what I see? Dean points to an Auto Painting shop. Hank: So you want to buy him … car … paint? Dean: Leave the thinking to me, Albert Einsteen. As the boys and H.E.L.P.eR. walk over to the shop, the camera pans to a bench where four Monarch henchmen, including Speedy, are sitting with sombreros hiding their faces. Speedy looks up. Speedy: Let’s get ‘em! Henchman: What? Whoa, no. That’s not the plan. Boss just wants us to observe Dr. Venture. Speedy: He’s been trying to get that bastard for years, and what better way than to kidnap his kids? I’m sure to get my wings if we pull this off. (Points to another henchman) Bring the Monarch-Mobile around. The boys walk out of the auto paint shop sans H.E.L.P.eR. Speedy: There they are! Go! Hank: Dad’s gonna be so super surprised when he sees how-- Hank gets shot with a Monarch tranquilizer dart in the chest and falls to the ground. Dean: (activates his two-way wrist communicator watch) Mayday! Mayday! (gets shot in the neck) Why? (falls) Cut to Brock outside of a brothel zipping up his pants while his two-way wrist communicator watch flashes and the Monarch-Mobile drives past. He activates the watch and it points him in the direction the Monarch-Mobile is going. It stops within eyeshot, and several henchmen carry the boys inside. Brock is furious and runs toward the car. The henchman in the driver’s seat spots him in the rear-view mirror and pokes his head out the window. Driving henchman: Oh whoa, guys! Heads up! We got company. All the henchmen present fire their dart guns at Brock. Brock continues to run toward them, throwing off the darts as they come. He grabs Speedy by the neck and begins to choke him. Speedy continues to fire at him. Henchman 24: He’s got Speedy! Nail him, boys! They all continue firing while Speedy turns red, his red goggles popping out. The driving henchman puts the Monarch-Mobile in reverse and backs into Brock, knocking him to the ground. Henchman 24: Finally, geez. Come on, Speedy. Brock’s grip is still tight on Speedy’s throat, even though he is unconscious after being hit by a car and his chest still full of darts. The other henchmen stare, mortified. Henchman: Wow, he’s really on there good. Another henchman shoots Speedy in the back of the neck, knocking him unconscious so he may face death without feeling it. Henchman 24: Wow. That sucked! COMMERCIAL BREAK Act 2 Cut to the cocoon on top of some Mayan ruins in the mountains. Monarch is grilling his henchman with an unconscious Hank and Dean present. The Monarch: What were you thinking? Bringing them here? Who told you to do that? Henchman: Well, we thought that …. actually it was Speedy’s idea. The Monarch: Great, so it was Speedy’s idea. Super idea, Speedy! Where is he? Henchman: He, uh, he didn’t make it. The Monarch: What do you mean? Henchman 24: Brock Samson got a hold of him, and he-- The Monarch: Oh, Samson. Geez. I, I don’t need to hear the rest. Poor little guy. He was this close to earning his wings, too. But see? That’s what I’m talking about! Now Venture will send Samson after the rest of us, and he’ll go totally sickhouse on our asses. I like my ass, gentleman. Henchman 24: Samson won’t be a problem, sir. The Monarch: You-- no way. Is he dead? (Henchman nods) Well, this changes everything. Without his walking Swedish murder machine the good doctor will have to do just what I say, won’t he? (He removes Hank’s communicator watch.) Take them to the holding cell. Monarch activates the watch. Dr. Venture appears on the screen. Dr. Venture: Hello, this is Dr. Venture… The Monarch: Attention, Dr. Thaddeus Venture. This is the Monarch speaking…. Dr. Venture: I’m currently unavailable right now, but if you’d like to leave a message, you can do so after the beep. Thanks, and have a scien-tastic day. *BEEP* The Monarch: Attention, Dr. Thaddeus Venture. This is the Monarch speaking. I have your boys. If you ever want to see them alive again-- (*BEEP*) DAMMIT! Cuts to Dr. Venture as a fetus, and an identical fetus is chewing on the small of his back. Dr. Venture panics and wakes up. Dr. Venture: NO! He is outdoors inside a bathtub full of ice with a note attached to his chest. He gasps and notices a recently sutured surgical cut on his right side. Dr. Venture: Ow! He notices the note on his chest and gasps again. It reads: "¡Attenciones! Your kidney has been Removed. seek Immediate medical attention." Dr. Venture: Oh, for the love of -- not again! Wait a minute. (looks at his right side) One… (turns and looks at his left side with a similarly sutured cut) two. Uh-huh. This is serious. (Activates his watch.) Brock! Come in, Brock! (*static*) Brock, seriously, this is an emergency! Don’t screen me. (*static*) Dr. Venture continues to press buttons on his watch. Cuts to H.E.L.P.eR. back at the auto paint shop under a sheet. He activates. Back at the tub, Dr. Venture attempts to get out of it when H.E.L.P.eR. arrives pimped out like a Mexican car. Dr. Venture: Oh, H.E.L.P.eR., thank -- what the hell happened to you? H.E.L.P.eR.: (nonsensical robot noises) Dr. Venture: (in between H.E.L.P.eR.’s pauses) Uh-huh. Yes, yes, just. Okay. H.E.L.P.eR. Okay, H.E.L.P.eR.! [H.E.L.P.eR. stops] Just get me back to the X-1. Dr. Venture climbs on the back of H.E.L.P.eR. As he rolls away, "La Cucaracha" plays from H.E.L.P.eR.’s newly installed car horn. Back at the cocoon, Dean and Hank awaken to find themselves in a cell. Dean: Where are we? The Monarch: You’re supposed to be the super sleuths. You figure it out. Boys gasp. Dean: We’re in the belly of the lair of the Monarch’s hideout! The Monarch: Correct, clever boy. And with you two in my clutches I finally have your father right where I want him. Hank: What’s your problem with our dad, anyway? The Monarch: Well, I -- he’s my nemesis, my archenemy. Dean: I don’t think Pop thinks you’re his archenemy. The Monarch: Come on, I’m sure the walls of the Venture compound are practically caked with the lingering curses of the Monarch’s name. Dean: Uh, no. I’ve never even heard him mention you. Hank: Hey, I always thought Baron Ünderbheit was Dad’s archenemy. The Monarch: Ünderbheit? Why, that dime-store Dr. Doom isn’t fit to -- just you wait ‘til your father calls me back! The Monarch walks away, leaving the boys nonplussed. Back on the X-1, the pimped out H.E.L.P.eR. has tubes hooked up to Dr. Venture’s body. Dr. Venture: That should just about do it. Let’s see if I’m half the genius I think I am. Tainted blood flows from Dr. Venture, is filtered through H.E.L.P.eR., and is pumped back into Dr. Venture. Dr. Venture: Ha ha! Good news. Looks like I am. H.E.L.P.eR., you are now my personal walking, talking electric kidney. Dr. Venture walks away, leaving H.E.L.P.eR. standing still. The tubes detach from Dr. Venture and start flailing around spreading blood everywhere. Dr. Venture: Crap. (reaches down to reinsert the tubes) I’m gonna have to find a more long-term solution. H.E.L.P.eR., stay close to me. Come. Dr. Venture moves to a bookshelf, keeping H.E.L.P.eR. at just the right distance. He grabs a book off the shelf and sits down at a desk, having opened the book. He starts reading. Dr. Venture: Kidney! (reading) No cure… Transplant from a healthy donor of the same blood type. Of course! One of the boys. Um, where the hell are the boys? (activates watch) Boys? Hello? Hank, are you there? Dave? (H.E.L.P.eR. corrects him) Dean? The wristwatch reads: ''You have 26 new messages. Dr. Venture activates it to listen to them.'' The Monarch: Attention, Dr. Thaddeus Venture. This is the Mon… Meanwhile back in The Monarch’s cell, Hank and Dean sit. The Monarch: Listen, you boys don’t have any special way of getting in touch with your dad I should know about, do you? I can’t seem to get a hold of him. Dean: We usually use our two-way satellite-linked communicator watches. The Monarch: No no, I tried that already. He’s not answering. I’ve left, like, a hundred messages. Geez, you’d think he cared a little more about his kids. Uh, I mean, I’m sure he’s worried sick about you two. He’s probably on his way right now … with the whole Mexican National Guard or something. Back to Dr. Venture, riding H.E.L.P.eR., following his watch to Brock’s location somewhere in the desert. Dr. Venture: It’s just a little further, H.E.L.P.eR. What the hell Brock is doing all the way out here when we need him most is beyond me, but he’s going to get a hot little earful when-- He sees Brock’s knife stuck in a fresh grave and fears the worst. He dismounts from H.E.L.P.eR., in shock and disbelief. He takes two steps forward and his lifeline to H.E.L.P.eR. detaches once again, the tubes flailing everywhere, spreading Dr. Venture’s blood. Cuts to The Monarch’s bedroom. The Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend are sitting up in bed. The Monarch is thinking while Dr. Girlfriend is reading. The Monarch starts to get up. The Monarch: I’m gonna go check on those boys. Dr. Girlfriend: (sigh) The Monarch: What? Dr. Girlfriend: Nothing. The Monarch: No, I know that sigh. What? Dr. Girlfriend: When we entered this relationship, we both agreed that we were both people who did not want kids. The Monarch: I-- what do you expect me to do with them? I thought their father would show up in no time. Do you know he’s never even told them he loves them? Dr. Girlfriend: You know what I think? I think you’re trying to compensate for the loss of your own parents. You never talk about that. The Monarch: You want me to talk about it? Fine, I’ll tell you all about that fateful summer, the Summer of the Monarchs. Flashback. The Monarch narrates. We see some woods, and a crashed airplane with a young, naked Monarch sitting close by. The Monarch: I was a mere eight years old, practically a caterpillar by butterfly standards. My parents’ private jet crashed in New Jersey’s fabled Pine Barrens minutes after takeoff from Newark Airport. Miraculously, I survived. My parents were not so fortunate. The young Monarch walks along in a loincloth, clearly upset about his parents’ passing. He awakens again with monarch butterflies surrounding him, perched on his arms. The Monarch: When I came to, I was surrounded by the most enchanting monarch butterflies. In time, they took me in as one of their own. They became my foster parents. The young Monarch runs through a field with the flying monarchs. The Monarch: These were the halcyon days. I’d play with my butterfly brethren. I learned the mysterious secrets of their ancient ways, supping as their own young do on a steady diet of milkweed, thus assuring my toxicity to this day. The young Monarch is wearing wings fashioned from twigs and leaves, eating milkweed, and he promptly vomits. The Monarch: Then, one fateful morning in September -- I remember because it was right around my birthday -- I was ecstatic by autumn’s approach because it meant the leaves of the trees would be orange enough for me to build even more convincing monarch wings. The young Monarch walks around on a fall day, eventually realizing that the monarchs were gone. He is distraught. The Monarch: I awoke and looked for my monarch family, but I couldn’t find them. I searched for days, but no sign of them. It was like losing my parents all over again, only much quieter. [flashback ends] So I wandered to the nearest highway, took the first bus to New York, and claimed a fat inheritance. It was only later that I learned that monarchs migrate south for the winter .. here … to Mexico. Oh, Tenderoni, that’s the only real reason I’ve come to Mexico: to find my foster parents. My big plan, all that work I’ve had you doing -- it was just an excuse. Do you hate me now? Dr. Girlfriend: Oh, Sweetie. Butterflies only live about nine months. The Monarch: What? Dr. Girlfriend: But those boys downstairs are alive, and you’re right. They do need a father. So you go down there and you love those boys and never let go. Meanwhile back at the fresh grave where Brock is presumably buried. Dr. Venture brings a fruit basket to finish his Dia de los Muertos shrine to Brock, and he is drunk off tequila. Dr. Venture: (sad) Oh, Brock. How did this happen? Where was I when you needed me most? He takes a big gulp of tequila (the worm is clearly visible), and the liquor filters through the tubes attaching Dr. Venture to H.E.L.P.eR. H.E.L.P.eR. has a slightly adverse reaction to it. Dr. Venture: I know, H.E.L.P.eR. He was like an angel... my beautiful guardian angel... and this is where it got him. Brock suddenly bursts from the grave, darts still in him, and he spits out a clump of dirt. Dr. Venture: (happy) Brock! You’re alive! It worked! My shrine worked! It’s not all superstitious nonsense! Brock lifts his right hand, where a dead, dessicated Speedy still resides in his grasp. He finally lets go, throwing the corpse to the ground. Dr. Venture: What? Oh God, you’re a zombie or something! I never should have played God! (Brock grabs him) The folly of it! The h-h-hubris! Brock grabs the tequila from Dr. Venture and chugs the rest (including the worm). Brock Samson: Boys. (Shakes Dr. Venture) Where are the boys?! Back in the boys’ cell, Hank tries to pick the lock with his belt buckle. Hank: Double dammit! Dean: Hank, you said the double "D" word. Hank: How are we ever gonna get this gate open? The Monarch walks in with a tray full of cookies. The Monarch: Which one of my special boys is in the mood for piping-hot cookies? Hank: Get him! The boys rush him, knocking the cookies on the floor. Hank gets The Monarch in a headlock, and starts hitting him, while Dean kicks him, both rather ineffectively. The Monarch: So you want to wrestle, eh? Oh ho ho, no you don’t. Nope. Ow. On the X-1, Brock is flying, Dr. Venture is in the passenger seat, and H.E.L.P.eR. is nearby. Dr. Venture: Supposed to be right around here; he was really specific in all those messages he left. Brock Samson: Got it. Dr. Venture: So, what’s the plan? Brock Samson: How long can you live if you’re not hooked up to him? Dr. Venture: Oh, I don’t know, a couple hours, maybe, but they’d be very uncomf-- Brock rips the tubes from Dr. Venture, and he moans in discomfort. Brock Samson: Come on. H.E.L.P.eR., you drive. Keep her steady. Brock grabs Dr. Venture by the arm and leads him to the back of the X-1. Dr. Venture: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Where are we-- Brock Samson: Get in my car. Dr. Venture begins to comply, when a Chupacabra with red, glowing eyes bursts from his car and attacks Dr. Venture, scratching his face. Brock throws a knife at it, killing it instantly. Brock Samson: Quit screwing around. Brock opens the bay doors. Dr. Venture, now in the car, is pretty shaken up. Dr. Venture: What the hell was that? Brock Samson: Chupacabra. They’re all over Mexico. Dr. Venture: No way. Brock hits a button releasing his car, puts the car in reverse, and hits the gas. They fall from the plane. Dr. Venture is panicking, Brock is calm. Brock pulls a release, issuing a parachute. Dr. Venture: Ah, you had me scared for a minute there. Brock hits the release again, detaching the parachute, and they fall straight for The Monarch’s cocoon. Inside the cocoon, specifically the boys’ cell, Yhe Monarch is wrestling with Hank and Dean to the point where Hank’s pants are falling off, revealing tighty whities. Dean: Get his legs! The Monarch: (playfully) No fair! It’s two of you against one. I don’t know if there’s enough Monarch love to go around. Brock’s Charger bursts through the ceiling in a loud crash, startling The Monarch. The Monarch: Holy crap! Dr. Venture: What is going on here? The Monarch: Minions! Where are you? Hoards of henchmen approach. Brock Samson: You get the boys. I’ll take care of these guys. Dr. Venture: Are you sure? There’s an awful lot of them. Brock Samson: (squinting, eye twitching) They hit me with a truck. Dr. Venture: Okaaaay. Dr. Venture leaves the vehicle. Brock revs his car, hitting every henchman he can find to the point where he has to turn on his wipers to remove the blood splattered on his windshield. The Monarch runs to his bedroom where Dr. Girlfriend is still reading in bed. Dr. Girlfriend: What’s all that noise? The Monarch: No time for questions, baby. Fire up the smaller escape cocoon ingeniously housed inside this larger cocoon headquarters! Dr. Girlfriend presses a button, the Monarch jumps into bed, and the smaller escape cocoon blasts off, nearly colliding with the overhead X-1. H.E.L.P.eR. is so shocked, "La Cucaracha" plays once again. Hank and Dean: (ecstatic) Dad! Dean: We knew you wouldn’t let us down! Hank: Just in the nick of time, too. Monarch was getting all creepy uncle on us. Dean: You’re the best dad in the whole world. Dr. Venture lifts up Hank’s shirt to feel his kidney. Dr. Venture: Yes, yes. Hank and Dean: Go Team Venture! They raise their hands in the shape of a V, as they often do. Meanwhile Dr. Venture lifts up Dean’s shirt. Wrap-up back on the X-1 with Dr. Venture, Hank, Dean, and H.E.L.P.eR. Dr. Venture: And so your father needs for one of you to donate a kidney, so that I can keep on living and doing the "best dad in the world" thing. Dean: But… which one of us, Pop? Dr. Venture: Well, I haven’t decided yet. Hank: I know. Rock, scissors, paper! Dean: You’re on! Hank and Dean: Once, twice, three, shoot! Post Credits Hank is waking up on the X-1. Hank: What happened? I thought I had picked rock. There is gauze where his kidney should be. Dean: So did I. Dean, too, has gauze where his kidney should be. Dr. Venture: And I picked two beautiful kidneys. I feel freakin’ amazing! Category:2004 television episodes Category:Episode Transcripts Category:Season 1